Setting the Example
By Shirley Mitchell
“Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.”
1 Corinthians 11:1
I recently went on a business trip to Colorado. I finished my work on my laptop that evening, then I did Bible study for an hour, and then I was ready to go to bed. I turned on the television just because I was curious about what the rest of the world was watching. I turn on my television on Sundays to watch Charles Stanley and John Hagee or when I am going to put in a DVD. There are just too many other things in life to do. My life is so rich in the Lord, family, and friends that the television is not much of my life anymore.
I flipped through the channels. Within a few minutes, I was saddened by the choices on television. I was getting ready to turn it off when I saw Hannah Montana was coming on the Disney Channel. Since we have limited cable, I had never watched Hannah Montana. I had let my two oldest daughters watch Hannah Montana under my mother’s supervision at her house. Christian friends who I trust and my mother had told me that this show was okay. I usually follow the “be careful little eyes what you see” rule, but I let loose my watch-my-kids-like-a-hawk mentality. I let a bit of the American culture into their lives. I let Mama watch it with them just a few times. Later, I felt like it was something that needed to be stopped because they were getting a bit crazed by the fanfare around her. So, we stopped it.
In the hotel room, God opened my eyes as I watched her on television. My daughter Sophia had picked up Hannah’s mannerisms, sayings, facial expressions, and body language. She didn’t use these things all the time, just in subtle ways which made me wonder why she was doing such exaggerated motions. She tilted her head up, lifted up her chin, and bent forward slightly just like Hannah. She used the same tone of voice - if you will allow me to say it if you are a Hannah fan - in such a corny way. Yes, it was cute though.
I was astonished. How did my daughter pick up all of those things from her in such a short period of time? I know my daughters are young and impressionable. I know their minds are being formed. I know all of this. This is why I guard what goes into their minds. I know the importance of role models and godly examples to be set before them. I know this because I have seen it in my life, and more importantly, God’s Word tells me.
Paul said over and over in his letters to the churches that they should follow his example. He said to the Corinthians, “Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.” He told the Philippians to “join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you” (Philippians 3:17). He told the Thessalonians “to follow our example” (2 Thessalonians 3:7).
I thought as I have many times previously what kind of example am I giving my daughters? It thrills me to tell you, my friend, that my daughter Mikayla filled up almost every page with notes from the Beth Moore event this weekend. She is writing a book, too. All of this is from me. I wanted to jump up and down when I saw my daughter Sophia raising her hands in worship at the Beth Moore event this weekend. She was not embarrassed, but freely worshipping God. When I came home from the conference, my daughter Victoria sat down beside me because she was writing her Bible study. Then, she wanted to hear Ecclesiastes 3 over and over. Are they not my children, or what?
I must confess to you with some embarrassment that sometimes I see myself in them in bad ways, too. When I heard one of my daughters run to her room, slam the door, and then pound her fists on the door, I thought I may not have done that before, but I have not taught her how to deal with anger and frustration in a godly way. I see it when my daughters raise their voices against each other. They have heard me raise my voice to them, and it was not just because I was trying to be heard above all the other noise in the house. They have seen me bicker with my husband and not handle frustration well. I haven’t set the example for them in all things.
I’m so burdened by this and my behavior. What is there to do about this? The first step is to know that no matter how far God has brought me from the pit, I am still a girl in need of the Savior. I am completely dependent on God. The next step is to share with you so that you might learn from my failures, as well as my lessons learned. The last step is to cover it with prayer. If this relates to you at all, whether you have biological or spiritual children, then let’s be the ones who set the example for others to follow. Let’s follow Christ so they can follow us.
Pray with me: O Father God, we want to follow the example of Christ. We want to sow Christ into our children. Help us to sow into them righteousness and not unrighteousness. We don’t want to sow in any lie that builds a stronghold of sin. Forgive us for the unrighteousness that we have sown. Cleanse us and purify us. Give us wisdom to know how to sow into them the things of the Spirit. We will make mistakes, but let them be fewer in number and more time in between. Release us from any condemnation. There is no condemnation in Christ. These children are not ours, but Yours. Do not let anything, especially us, get in the way of how You want to shape and mold their lives. Help us to give them an example worth emulating and that glorifies You. All of these things we pray in the All-Surpassing Name of Jesus, Yeshua. Amen.