Tattletale
By Shauna Leis
“I cry aloud to the LORD; I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy. I pour out my complaint before him; before him I tell my trouble. When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who know my way. In the path where I walk men have hidden a snare for me. Look to my right and see; no one is concerned for me. I have no refuge; no one cares for my life.”
Psalm 142:1-4
Our children love to tell on each other. To them, there is something fulfilling about being able to come to Mom or Dad and let us know that the other is doing something we would probably not approve of or have told them not to do. The reason they come to tell us what is happening is not because of some need to ensure that the other does not get hurt or does something wrong. The reason they come to tell us is to ensure that we know they are not the ones doing anything wrong. Just in case there are any questions later about how something happened, they want to verify we know what really happened from the beginning.
Now, Tony and I typically handle this very simply. We ask first, “Is there any blood?” Next we ask, “Is someone on the verge of getting seriously hurt?” Then we send them on their way to resolve it on their own without the intervention of either Mom or Dad. We want them to learn that it is imperative for them to work as a team since they are in the same family.
How many of us react the same way even as adults? When we see someone doing something wrong, we instinctively want to run and tattle on him or her to someone. We want to ensure that others know we are not the ones responsible for what has happened. Or we want to verify that others know we are so much better than those who have gone astray or made choices we would not have made. Oh, what a danger that this can bring into our lives. Proverbs 16:28 says, “A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends.”
There are other times that we “gossip” or “tattletale” on others in the name of “prayer.” You know exactly where this is going, don’t you? There is someone who we believe is wrong so we tell our best friend about it and ask her to pray over it with us. Now, this does not sound in and of itself wrong, but you have to ask yourself what is the motive we have in telling someone else about it. Is it truly to bring the issue forward for prayer and covering, or is it really to try to bring this other person down while we are lifted up in the name of righteousness? We feel so much better about ourselves because we have brought them forward in prayer, and we have not gone down to the same levels where they have sunk. When in reality, we have sunk to an even lower level by being a tattletale or a gossip!
The Hebrew root for the word gossip is “ragan,” which is the same root as the word “slander.” The Hebrew/Greek dictionary gives this definition for “ragan,” “to murmur or whisper, backbiter.” And is that not so true? When we start to gossip, we tend to do it in whispers and behind other people’s backs so they will not know what is being said about them. Oh, what hurt and dissension this causes especially among non-believers who are in our circle of friends. Non-believers are constantly watching those of us who profess to be Christians to see what this “Christianity” thing is really all about. Are we truly leading changed lives for them to see? Or are we caught up in the same games that others play?
God has a better definition of how to react in these situations – tell it all to Him instead. Please re-read the passage in Psalms up above. The psalmist clearly understood what this meant. When we find ourselves needing to get something out – we can tattletale all we want on other people to God. He understands our hearts and wants us to pour them out before Him. Only when we confess our thoughts and feelings to Him, can He work through them to make them into God-honoring thoughts and feelings. And, before we ever think about sharing another person’s situation with someone else, we definitely need to seek God’s direction on it first. God will clearly let us know when it is appropriate to ask another’s help in praying together.
Can I give us an even greater challenge, too? Before we tattletale to God, let us ask God to change our heart first. When we pray to see others with His eyes and hear their words with His ears, we will be amazed how differently we feel when we come to Him in prayer. There are so many times at the beginning of my prayer time that I would have asked God to send down the fire from heaven on someone else. But in the end, I beg God to bless them, instead, when I think about my own failings and shortcomings. We will also be very different in how we engage others to pray with us. When God encourages us to pray with someone else about another’s situation, it is with the clear intent that God is in that prayer time with us. He will lead us to the right words and actions if we will only let Him take control!
Pray with me: Dear God, oh how often we try to elevate ourselves by bringing others down instead of encouraging them with Your Word. God, mold our hearts to feel for others the way that You do, sharpen our eyes to see others the way that You do, and open our ears to hear people the way that You do. When we are hurt and angry, we will bring our cries to You first and ask for Your guidance in how to react. We will resolve to keep our tattling on others to You and You alone. Heal us, God, so that we can love others because of the love that Your Son poured out on us. God, we love You so very much and pray all of this in the precious name of Your Son, Jesus Christ! Amen!