The Heart of the Father
By Kendra Osborn
“Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.”
James 1:27 (NIV)
The words “Heart of the Father” have been stirring in my spirit for several weeks. I am desperate to know His heart and to feel every beat it makes. I want to know what is important to Him and what He takes great delight in. I want to be more like Him in every area of my life. I want my heart beating for the same thing His does.
The Lord has blessed me and continues to do so in so many ways. Besides forgiveness of my sins and eternal life with Him the biggest blessings I have ever received on this earth are my children. They are without a doubt the joy of my life and I would lay my life down for them. It goes without saying that when they hurt, I hurt. There are times when my heart aches for them and they are unaware. As a mother, I know this deep sense of feeling for her children will never end as long as we draw breath.
One of the greatest areas of pain I have felt for my children is the lack of having a father. At times it is a struggle not to be consumed with the pain of seeing my children miss out on having an earthly father in their life.
I have been a single parent at two different times in my life and the second time was harder than the first time. Having experienced divorce and the death of a husband you can only imagine how tender my heart is for children without fathers and the pain of loss in their lives.
I am going to speak from my heart today and I want to say as a precursor I am not in any way bashing the Body of Christ. I am sharing my story and what I have experienced. I speak from my heart with love and sincerity and would never intend for it to be taken as a divisive word or motive.
This year has been the hardest year for me in this area and I have felt the most pain for my children this year than the years prior. When my husband died three years ago I had men tell me they were going to step in and help with the boys. They said they wanted to be a male influence in their lives and try to fill the huge hole they now had, yet none of them ever stepped up. Over the course of the three years I have been connected to three different congregations. Still, no one has volunteered to be a buddy or mentor to my children.
It wasn’t until I started a new job that I realized how hurt I was with the lack of response for the orphaned. I had a stark realization one morning in a staff meeting of how hurt I really was. Part of my job is to assist with a ministry that finds mentors for children of prisoners. We were discussing how to find mentors and during the conversation one of my friends and co-worker said he would sign up to mentor a child but it had to be the same age as his son. Not only do I work with this person but we are a part of the same congregation as well. His son is the same age as my youngest and our children are in the same class at every church event.
I remember sitting there fighting to hold back the tears and screaming inside, “God please hold this mother’s heart. Protect my heart, oh God.” I sat there bewildered and devastated at the situation. I was hurt because my friend looked right at me and I wanted to ask him if he had forgotten about my little boy. But I heard the Lord speak to me. He said, “Kendra, I have something much better for your children.” I did not take it as a slight toward my friend but as a promise and a plan that would not only be better but it would be God’s best for my boys. When I heard the Lord say that I felt a sense of peace but my heart was still hurting.
The pain was so fresh that I decided to call a national organization and try to be proactive wondering if God was waiting for me to make a move. However I was told the waiting list was over a year for 10 year olds. Reality set in and I thought it’s an epidemic. How many of those children are involved in a church yet they have to wait over a year to even be considered for a mentor. I thought about the parents who had to search outside of a church to find someone for their children. I cried out to the Lord, “Where is the church Lord?”
I have had to deal with bitterness and resentment and with a stark realization that things are what they are. I know we have to release our children and every situation to the Lord but sometimes it is a hard and painful thing to do.
I felt God awaken in me is the role of the church and the very thing that is at the heart of the Father, children. God’s word is crystal clear how His heart is filled with compassion towards children and towards those who are orphaned.
I looked back on my three years of waiting and realized the church has huge cracks in it when it comes to the orphaned and the widowed. As part of the body we are called to look after the orphans and widows in their distress. What touches my heart more than money or monetary things and helps me in my distress is the thought of my children having someone in their lives that is a God fearing man who wants to speak life into their lives.
I know we are all “called” to a specific thing and that God bestows on each of us different gifts. But when it comes to the orphans and the widows the church is commanded to look after them in their times of distress. In doing so this is the religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless.
God hears the cries of a mother’s heart and those of her children. My children, especially the oldest, have often said he wishes he had someone in his life. I wonder how often his heart cries for someone yet he keeps it to himself.
I am fully aware that we are all not at a place at the same time in life to be a buddy to a kid, but we all have seasons where we are able to. The question is do we help children when we’re able to? If not, we need to seek the Lord and ask Him to show us the children who are alone and suffering and to reveal His perfect timing for each of us to make a difference in the life of a child.
God is faithful and after three plus years He has provided someone for my oldest son and how I praise Him for His faithfulness. The person who has committed to be a buddy to my son came to us because someone heard I was a widow with two sons. I didn’t know this man but I am getting to know him and I know when God said I have something better for your children, he meant His plans were better and who He chose was best.
Sisters, I come to you today not to point a finger at the church but one who is passionate about His heart. If your children are orphans because of death, divorce, the war or due to a father who is physically there but emotionally removed, seek the Heavenly Father and put all your trust in Him. Psalm 68:5 & 6 says He is “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families…” Claim His promises and believe His word in your life and in your children(s). His heart is for you and your children and He aches when you do.
Pray with me: Lord God, Creator of heaven and earth, how I praise Your name. You are the One true God who was and is and is to come. Your faithfulness never ends and your love is everlasting. You’re slow to anger and great in power, you are the great I Am.
Reveal your heart to your children and let us walk in step with you Lord. I pray what is important to you would become the very beat of our hearts. Father I pray we would do as You have called and we would be sensitive to the orphans that are in our churches week after week. Give us compassion and mercy for each of them and let us be filled with the desire to pour into their lives.
Thank You Lord for Your perfect plan for our lives, even when it seems to us that it is in shambles. You are beautiful and how I praise You for Your splendor.
I claim Your promise over every widow, spiritual widow, and woman of divorce, and over every orphan that You are the Father to the fatherless and a defender of widows. Thank You Lord for being a promise keeper, the one who sets the lonely in families and who will never break a covenant with those You love.
In the mighty name of Jesus I pray, the name above all names, Amen.